Navigating life in a time of fear and uncertainty

It is a Saturday morning.  I woke up without an alarm, meditated, dressed in comfy clothes and made my morning cup of coffee.  By all accounts, it feels like a normal Saturday morning, but it’s not.  We are practicing social distancing and have been home aside from going on walks or grocery store runs.  It’s a very strange state to be in.  How do we all navigate this time of fear and uncertainty? I feel so many confusing and contrary emotions.  

The Gift of Time

I have loved the extra time with my men.  We take several walks a day and find ways to stimulate our brains. We play games and teach them basic life skills. Cooking has become more of a family affair and we try new recipes that I mention in The Reluctant Food Critic. Most importantly, we have many interesting discussions.  http://www.laughloudmama.com/thereluctantfoodcritic

I feel lighter having completed so many of our “to do” tasks that always get placed on hold.  I love sitting at my desk and seeing so many people walking and running outside.  The number has probably doubled since this all started.  I love that when I pass by someone on our walks I’m more inclined to make eye contact and smile.  A silent “we are in this together and we can do this” passes between us.  I have found myself in such gratitude of: teachers and school administrators, grocery store workers, mail or food delivery drivers and everyone in the medical field.  I love that it has forced me to slow down, take a moment and just be.  

Fear and Anxiety

Standing hand in hand with this calm is fear and anxiety.  A fear of the unknown and what the future will look like.  When will things be “normal” again?  How will this affect my kids’ learning?  When will my husband be able to go back to work?  When will I be able to shake someone’s hand or embrace them?  What will the final impact on our economy be? I never knew I’d miss the days when grocery shopping felt like a mundane task and not like a game of Russian Roulette.  How odd it is to be happy to see other faces in the store, but also afraid to get too close to them.  Without even realizing it, I’m holding my breath every time my cart passes another.  I thought I was walking through this with such calm and clarity and yet fear and anxiety still manage to creep in.  

It’s also the unknown. While this situation is so unique to anything I’ve experienced before, this feeling still reminds me of where I was in January.  I was floating through life feeling a bit untethered.  I typed out my thoughts as a way to talk myself through the discomfort.  Although my process had nothing to do with a pandemic, the fear and uncertainty were present. I feel what I learned from that time can be applied to what many of us are feeling now.  It gives me a sense of calm to know that I walked through that uncertainty and fear to a place of calm and even excitement.  I trust the same will happen with this moment in time.  

Path Unseen

We recently moved to Massachusetts from Texas. We are starting to settle into our life here.  All my men are back to work and school after the holiday break.  But, I’m not sure what lies ahead for me.  I’ve had all my focus on getting us moved, settled, and celebrating the Holidays that I’ve barely taken the time to sit and look at what I want.  In fact, I’ve avoided looking. 

It scares me.  What I thought was going to be my focus now no longer seems to be “It”.  It’s just a small piece in a bigger picture but that picture is blurry and unclear.  I can’t help but feel like I’m walking on a path in a thick forest and the fog is dense and overwhelming.  I can’t quite see what comes next.  So, how do I set my intentions and goals when I don’t quite know what I want to manifest?  If I were in the forest walking along a path that has no end or direction in sight, I would want to keep moving and not just plant my feet.  I’d just take one step at a time and keep my eyes wide open.  I’d take in my surroundings and stay present.  

So now my intention is to move forward one day at a time.  There is the fear that a massive tree will fall over and block any forward movement, much like our move did.  But, in that case, I will just follow the next path that lies ahead.  I ultimately need to trust the process and just “keep moving forward”.  Yes, I just quoted a line from “Meet the Robinsons”. Thank you Disney.  The message I take from this is that we don’t always have to know what comes next. The truth is that none of us really know what comes next.  So I will feel my feet, my breath and the calm as I take a new step each day.  

How does this Help me Deal with The Coronavirus?

We may all be living in an unclear and vulnerable time filled with fear and uncertainty, but we can keep moving forward.  We can narrow our focus to just that next step.  Decide what you are going to do first thing in the morning.  What are you going to do to move and nourish your body?  What will you do to connect with your loved ones?  Plan a moment for yourself each day even if it’s only 5 minutes of alone time.  The big steps can feel monumental but we can all take the small ones.  Now we have been given the opportunity to focus on those tiny choices. The goal is to feel calm, happy and grounded.  I wish everyone good health and happiness as they keep moving forward one step at a time.