The critical voice. The ego. Possibly more accurately stated; fear, anxiety, judgement, anger and sadness all wrapped up into one hot mess. I sometimes refer to mine as Frankie, and boy is she loud! Naming my critical voice helped to separate it from me in some way. I find that any time I feel agitated or overwhelmed, my critical voice is playing a big part of that feeling. More recently, I was feeling overwhelmed by our “new norm” since Covid-19 arrived. I was feeling like I couldn’t quite do any job at 100%; parent, teacher, wife, cook, housekeeper, student, writer, life coach. I felt I was maximizing at about 40% in each of these categories. All the recent changes kicked my plans out the window and yet my expectations remained. Enter Frankie…
The Critical Voice offers the Commentary
There are always going to be stressors in life that trigger our fear or anxiety but it’s the critical voice that offers the commentary. It’s similar to watching a scary movie. It ramps up your body causing you to hold your breath and your muscles to tense. But, have you ever watched a scary movie on mute? It’s not near as scary that way. I’m not exactly a fan of scary or gory films. So, when it’s a “must see” film, I press mute or plug my ears when the intensity rises. My critical voice is totally calling me out as a “wimp” as I type this, by the way. The constant internal commentary can be exhausting. But, what if we could use the same mute button with our critical voice? Just press the button when its chatter starts to overwhelm our senses. So, how do you press the mute button on the critical voice?
Where’s Waldo??
Unfortunately, we are often so conditioned to the critical voice being there that we don’t even realize the internal dialogue that is going on. Yet, the chatter still has the power to influence how you feel. I have found that bringing awareness to that voice somehow causes it to ease away into the background. It reminds me of those Where’s Waldo books I used to look through with my boys. I remember us scanning the pages intently looking for Waldo. Your senses feel heightened and almost hurried as you search for him in the chaos of colors and characters. Then you spot him. “There he is!” It’s a feeling of satisfaction when you’ve found him, but then just as quickly the excitement drains away and Waldo is just part of the full picture. He sort of blends back into the landscape. The next time you flip to that page you don’t feel as charged, you already know where he is.
It has no power over you
It’s the same with your critical voice. Once you recognize it for what it is, it suddenly has no power over you. It gives room for your authentic voice. The voice of calm, acceptance, wisdom, intuition and grace. So, play “Where’s Waldo” with your critical voice to give yourself a little reprieve from the self judgement. When you catch the inner dialogue running through your head like a LED ticker in Times Square just take a moment to listen to what you’re telling yourself. I’m always amazed by how harsh the critical voice can be. It has a closed mindset. Everything is black and white and there is no flexibility. Fortunately, that rigid and sharp voice is a dead give away. It’s like Waldo’s red and white stripped shirt and large rounded glasses that affirm you’ve found him. Once you’ve taken a moment to catch the critical voice in action, see how you feel. It’s as if it its loud and stern tone gets reduced to that of a child throwing a tantrum. You are able to see it from a new perspective. You have disarmed the critical voice.
Press the Mute Button
We all have a critical voice. I used to think I needed it to stay on task, stay driven or feel alert. But, I’ve learned with time that I’m much stronger without it. True inner strength is calm and graceful even subtle. So, the next time you feel defeated or worn down, check in with your internal dialogue. Play Where’s Waldo with your critical voice. It’s often loud and not hard to miss. Press the mute button once you’ve found it and enjoy the grounded calm it brings you. Let your authentic voice be your guide.